By Clint McElroy
HQ 120 | WINTER 2023
This edition of the magazine features an interesting article on movies made in Huntington. Well, in case you didn’t know, I have quite an extensive acting career in such major motion pictures as Burning Annie, Where The Roses Bloom and, of course, We Are Marshall. Now I realize there are a lot of local folks who made appearances in We Are Marshall, but how many can say they were in a scene with Matthew McConaughey? Ok, probably a lot. But how many can say they were in the same room as Matthew McConaughey? Not many. As such, it is entirely possible that I spent some time with the Academy Award-winning actor. And based on that possibility, here is a conversation I may have shared with him.
Me: Matthew McConaughey, thank you for taking the time to speak with me. I can’t believe you brought dinner for us both. What is that delicious-looking dish?
McConaughey: Tuna casserole! May I serve?1
Me: Absolutely! Is the temperature in here OK for you? I could ask the waiter to turn up the air conditioner.
McConaughey: Be a lot cooler if you did.2
Me: I don’t see you on social media very often. Why is that?
McConaughey: We shop at home, we surf the web … at the same time, we feel emptier, lonelier and more cut off from each other than at any other time in human history.3
Me: [loud burp] Oh, pardon me, Matthew McConaughey. That tuna casserole is not agreeing with me. I need an antacid. Do you ever use them?
McConaughey: Once in the morning, right after I work out. And then once right after lunch.4
Me: Listen, I saw quite a few of the extras picking up stuff to keep as souvenirs. Nothing valuable, just like paper cups you’ve drunk out of, your old antacid wrappers …
McConaughey: I think I see a lotta lawbreakers up in this house tonight!5
Me: I agree! But exactly what law would that be?
McConaughey: Newton’s Third Law. You’ve got to leave something behind.6
Me: I understand when filming is done you are going to take a little time off and head to Mexico?
McConaughey: A little tequila, sunshine and tacos never hurt anybody.7
Me: Sounds like fun. Look, Matthew McConaughey, I realize this is not how things are done, but I wonder if you might look at this screenplay I’ve written. I think it would be perfect for you and …
McConaughey: Look, I’m going to stop you right there, so you don’t waste any more of your precious breath, young man. This is not a discussion for the two of us.8
Me: Well, now I’m just embarrassed. I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that. I feel terrible.
McConaughey: When you’ve reached rock bottom, there’s only one way to go, and that’s up!9
Me: Wow. Thanks, Matthew McConaughey. I will remember that. But right now that tuna casserole is really making me ill. I know the bathroom is down a few hallways. Can you tell me how many turns I need to take?
McConaughey: A’right, a’right, a’right.10
Ok, ok! I realize I didn’t have an actual conversation with McConaughey, but he did actually say these things, just not necessarily in response to me or my questions.
Footnotes
1. Killer Joe; 2. Dazed and Confused; 3. Lone Star; 4. The Wolf Of Wall Street; 5. Magic Mike; 6. Interstellar; 7. Dallas Buyers Club; 8. The Gentlemen; 9. Sing!; 10. Dazed and Confused
